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My goal for this upcoming summer is simple: actually maintain a blog. Why? Because my goal for this summer is to make it one of my best, and I think an important part of that will be logging it so that I can remember it for as long as I can. I know, it's completely cliche and typical.. but really, I need it to be. Not to be a complete emo, but things have been disappointing me lately, myself included, and I really just want something really amazing to happen to make up for it.

Granted, I understand that you can't plan for brilliance to happen.. it just does, but I suppose regardless of whether or not something really great can happen to me, it will still be special to have something to look back upon. Not to mention, in a completely Internet-nerdy way, I think people who blog sound so cool, and their lives sound so amazing. I know how there's the whole stereotypical douche-tastic blogger, who just loves the thought of detailing all their "complex" emotions to the faceless members of the internet in an attempt to sound so beautifully deep and powerful.. but I guess is it so wrong to want to be something like that? (Don't answer that.)

Well, this is already taking a turn in the typical direction for me. I start these things out talking about writing a blog and my thoughts on that.. then maybe update no one about my life for a while, and ultimately this entire thing fades into obscurity. Like my xanga from seventh grade, for example.. well, I actually did manage to keep that up for awhile. It's ridiculously embarrassing, as I imagine this whole thing will turn out being at some point as well.

As for the "my life" portion of this whole thing, school's nearly up and that's fine with me. The entire place has become monotonous and tiresome, I mean I know that's typically high school for you.. but I can't handle it much more. I have zero desire to learn anymore and it seems as if the teachers at this point have zero desire to teach. Well, some of them have blatantly had that feeling since the beginning of the year.. but it's showing in even the best of them now.

Next year I'm going to be a junior. Finally. Just from my own personal impression, it doesn't (Is that right? Spell check is underlining it even though I'm fairly positive it's correct.. but now it just looks weird) seem like you really become a part of the whole Wachusett scene until you become a part of the upper house. Freshman year is just awkward, and sophomore year seems just spent in anticipation of junior and senior year. Though I suppose, reminiscing on this past year, it hasn't (okay, well apparently firefox spell check has a problem with all contractions.. is that the right word?) been all to bad. I've definitely changed, thankfully. My mum was looking at a picture of me from the beginning of the year, and she was completely convinced the picture was from two years ago instead of just a spattering of months ago. Though.. it's not only appearence-wise that I've changed. I want to say I grew older mentally.. I mean this is adolescence so it's likely to happen, but maybe I've just become more expressive? I definitely talk to people a lot more than I did last year, and now people in general tend to intimidate me less. Wow, awkward.. but yeah, for the most part I suppose I've changed for the better. Though even at this point I'm still questioning whether I really believe the whole "loved and lost.." thing. I almost think I would've been better off without it all, actually I'm fairly positive I would've been. Much less stress, much less wasted time. Ugh, exhausting.

So onto today. I really want to go shopping for summer clothes, but knowing me and my life.. it seems likely I'm going to stay here all day, moping, listening to music, watching The Soup from last night. Sweet life. Maybe I'll consider doing homework, only to completely avoid it at all costs by wasting time looking at my phone, waiting for you to call so that I can ignore you. Awesome.