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I've spent the majority of today working on my art final - which has been stressful but equally enjoyable. I can’t believe this year if finally, seriously, coming to a close.. though I’m not sure if that’s necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, as I will soon start the social decline of the summer, which always ends up with me being completely frustrated and angst-filled.

But I promised myself this summer was going to be completely different – something new, so who knows, maybe I’m just taking a completely pessimistic stance on all of this. I’ve started making goals for myself this summer – they’re pretty airy, simplistic ones. Spend an entire day at the cinema just sneaking into different movies, find a four leaf clover, learn to whistle, go skinny dipping, and learn to lucid dream. My number one out of all of those is the lucid dream one – being able to control your dreams sounds beyond amazing. I’ve done it before, realized I’m dreaming and sort of manipulated the scenarios, but usually I can’t due to not realizing it’s a dream until it’s too late or just not being able to remember any of the dreams I’ve actually had. According to the internet, the first part of learning to control your dreams if being able to recall them on a nightly basis, and learning to differentiate between real world and dream world. This requires you to do something kind of silly, like feel the need to pinch yourself on basically an hourly basis so that in your dreams you’ll do this too and when you don’t feel anything – realize you’re in a dream. Last night I tried the technique of repeating the mantra “Tonight I will lucid dream” over and over again in my head, but yeah, it didn’t entirely work out. I thought it was kind of funny, also, that on the website I was reading about it, it said to be careful once you mastered the technique, and that you shouldn’t do it every night or else you’ll grow disappointed with the real world. I can imagine that happening. A distorted reality is far preferable to.. this.

But I told Em all this today when we went for a walk, which was really a perfect escape. I felt like I talked way too much, and I probably did, so I apologize for that! There are few people I really feel like I can actually talk to without fully having to think out everything I’m going to say, and not having to do that is such a liberating feeling. But during our walk we managed to lay out in traffic, (sort of) get thrown out of the pond, walk in the rain, walk along the tracks, and get creeped out by at least three different people passing by. Love it.

I’ve been in a really musical mood lately, in the past twenty-four hours I’ve downloaded about 300 songs and there is no end in sight. I love it. I’m usually fairly disappointed in my music taste, but all this new stuff is overwhelming in the best way possible. That song I posted in my last post in the youtube link was kind of what inspired the new template background I found. I think I’ve listened to that song about 16 times so far today, since I have barely left the desk in my room, and tomorrow is looking similar. I really hope to finish my art final tomorrow, I have two hours in class on Monday too, but I’d like to be able to relax for most of Monday, just to feel free for just one more day before the more painful testing begins.

Back to work.