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I'm actually getting to blog here! Not sure if this is a one time thing or not but it helps me feel much more connected to the rest of the world, even just geting to go on here once.

This is the first time I've ever been to the Cape so it's proving interesting.. we're staying in West Denni, if that means anything to anyone. It' moderately amusing here. We're surrounded by all these nice houses and million dollar boats, and then there's our single story house and barely-a-boat-in-comparison just kind of chillin' out. There's a "teen dance" at the yacht club. My god. My parents keep bringing it up as if it's actually something I would legitimately consider. I don't even go to dances at school, never mind with a bunch of posh, beach-house-owning rich kids. I'm stereotyping.. I know, but I would definitely classify my family as a fish out of water. It's cool though.

There was a massive thunderstorm here last night - and I kept slipping in and out of conciousness because I couldn't really sleep. I kept waking up at random points during Jenny Lewis songs so they all started to blend together until I woke up and my ipod was off to the side, all wrapped up, sitting on the table by my bed. I love doing things subconciously in my half-asleep states, and then waking up surprised by what I managed to do.

I just decided I'm in love with the guy mowing the person's lawn next door. Even despite the fact that I'm pretty sure seeing him was a one time occurence, and I've already forgotten what he looked like.. yeah, so the wedding is next week if anyone is interested.

The place we're staying in is pretty cute though.. just to continue on random-thought tangents here. There are bunnies that just hop around the entire neighborhood area. I tried to take a picture of one, but it sprinted off - and I was left standing in the front yard cursing senselessly. I've been swearing a lot lately for no particular reason. The way my brother and I greet eachother is now through casually flipping eachother off. It's great.

Speaking of my brother.. I need to rant. Okay, so in my mind it's imperative that I must exsist as a superlative. I'm not content until I can consider myself "the best" at something. Within my family it's usually been I am the smarter, school-obsessed one, Peter is the sports one, and Jacob is the third child and to be musical genius.. once he finally commits. But here's the thing, both my parents are now convinced - though they deny it to my face - that Peter is smarter than me. I cannot deal with this. Not being able to exsist as the best at something, even within my own family, makes me think I'll start acting like I do at school. Which, at times, is basically a barely there exsistance and chosing not to be noticed in an attempt for my flaws to also not be noticed.. I don't like the thought of that happening, especially in another major portion of my life.. but I'm worried, it's really been bothering me, and where better to express these concerns then to my blog, right? Right.

Okay, see? It felt better getting that off my chest. All is well. I think I'm going to climb on the roof (which we can do here! well.. not under the permission of my parents, but when no one is looking) and spy on the kid mowing the lawn. Fun.