?

It's 8:15 and I am actually presently debating going to bed soon. Though I would hate to rush tomorrow since I'm still going to have to get up at six, to be at the school for seven thirty in order to sit down and take a practice SAT exam that will be worth absolutely NOTHING but the "experience." Oookay. Not to mention the soccer game in the freezing rain tomorrow that could potentially bring an end to a crazy 6-year winning streak..

I wanted to be sure to include some choice quotes from my parents today because I've been finding their antics particularly... well, insane lately. I'm pretty sure this is all just part of growing up and realizing that your parents aren't as faultless as you've spent most your life thinking, but I'm still.. put-especially-off by it.

Me: My hands are freezing.
Mom: Put some slippers on! You're loosing all your heat through your feet.
Me: You realize what I just said, right?
Mom: You're so argumentative! Rebekah, I really hate you today.. awkward silence, then she leaves the room.

and

Dad: "...she was literally treating me like a fucking five year old and I just wanted to fucking punch her in the fucking face"

Like poetry.

No joke, these were verbatim. I'm not especially sure as to why what they do concerns me so much recently, though. And I can't decide whether these constantly fluctuating feelings about them, and life in general really, are the result of being a teenager, or being some hyper-sensitive girl, or simply just being human.

Today was actually a really good day, I think. And part of it was because after being asked what it was necessarily that made me so upset with in everything, I concluded that it's basically because I'm a complete pessimist in regards to pretty much everything. I don't look forward to things, but just dread things to varying degrees. Not like admitting this is really going to change my behavior really, or anything, but I guess recognition of why I, apparently, think I have some sort of right to complain all the time is a step in some sort of progressive direction?

Earlier tonight I was helping my friend Lucie from Argentina with her English homework on MSN. She had to write a pro-choice essay on euthanasia which I thought was pretty interesting actually, especially considering I couldn't imagine ever having work like that in a foreign language class here. She's pretty fluent in English, actually, which is cool and we spend half our time talking about how we plan on seducing Alex Turner, and getting him to marry us. It's funny, and I feel so worldly having a friend from a different country. She was telling me at one point about how brilliant America is and she said something like "even your supermarkets are so much better than ours! they're brilliant!" Which I guess was supposed to be an inspirational moment for me: when I realize how much I take for granted and should appreciate more in my life, when in reality I just kind of saw it as something cute. I hate that. Sometimes I know how I should react to certain things, and yet I don't, actually, at all, and I'm just left with fake emotions that I try to conjure up in an attempt to be what I think I should be.. if that makes any sense?

Alright, it's half an hour later than when I started, so I should actually begin to seriously consider bed . I'm awesome, and apparently 100..cool, cool. Oh yeah, and I told Brian I would definitely blog about our conversation during lunch today about being total creepers and stalking other people's blogs.I can't even deny my own obsessive behavior about reading other people's blogs at all. I like the idea that here, people are completely themselves though plenty aren't during the school day or even beyond that part of your life. It's nice thinking that maybe someone you haven't even met has some sort of idea of who you really are and can't judge you beyond that. Though, I suppose that could be construed as pretty creepish as well.. a thought I'm choosing to completely ignore.

Also, I'm acknowledging the fact that I did not bring my freezing cold self out the football game tonight, as blogging was definitely the warmer (and thereby a thousand times more wonderful) option! Even though I do kind of wonder what would have happened if I actually went. In my mind, being the total pessimist that I am, I would've sat out by myself, surrounded by people in our grade with no idea of who I actually was, and not really caring either, and I would just kind of blush furiously throughout the entire thing as I over-analyzed every little thing that happened. Yet honestly, worst case scenario and probable scenario are intertwined and are the exact same thing in my mind. Like I said, definitely a problem.. ha.

Wow. In any attempts to wrap this up, if I really did some sort of consistent song of the day thing, today's would be Charlotte Sometimes - Waves and the Both of Us. The song has no substance, it's just pop-y and cute. Do it to it.