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The fact that it's Christmas Eve seems completely irrelevant to me right now. I know everyone says Christmas always just sneaks up on you but seriously.. I've never felt this un-festive before. Now I don't even mean in a Grinch way (obviously old-school cartoon Grinch style - that version with Jim Carey and the now coked-out girl from gossip girl is too awkward, borderline terrifying) just in this detached uncertainty.

On an unrelated note, while I was in the media center the other day I was listening to our Latin sub talk to Mrs. J about facebook. Mrs J was going on about how stupid she thought the whole thing was and "has this theory" that in two years everyone will be completely embarrassed by their obsession with it. Pathetically, as soon as I heard this I became immediately defensive.. I mean, obviously this woman is not aware of what an integral part of my life that shit isss. And then the more I thought about that, the more I started to realize I probably spend more time watching people update the world on their ceaselessly riveting lives, laughing at middle schoolers just for a sense of self-assured superiority, and skimming through arrays of pictures to find how truly social people spend their time, than I do sleeping most school nights. Embarrassment.. not yet, still definitely on the denial stage before reaching acceptance.

Awesome. A blog about me. This is new.

So I guess on Christmas Eve we're supposed to think about others, and giving to others, and how much we appreciate others... because this is totally different from Thanksgiving since people are having glazed ham tonight instead of turkey. So just to stray from the underlying subject of every single blog entry I've produced the past year I just wanted to express how much I like people. It's true. Most the time I'm kind of thinking "FUCK YOU ALLLLLL - I'M AN INDEPENDENT LONER, YEAH! FRESHH" but no, not lately. It's kind of funny that when you stop socially isolating yourself, you manage to find that people are great, new people are great, and that maybe only speaking to same few people is not protective but just limiting. Not that I'm saying anything against the old, because I love them, but it's just surreal to me that I can actually enjoy people I haven't always known. Yay for turning something of a shout-out into being about myself again.. but I guess thank you to new people that I've never had the cahones to speak to before. High school has - without a doubt - been something of a growing experience for me and as much as I bitch about everything there.. well, there are just always surprises.

But I'm not just thankful for the new, like I said, since I love the old. Thoreau said when receiving guests it's better to distance yourself as the levity of the conversation increases, but I'm thinking that's just a guy thing. There's nothing I can think of that I love more than entwining yourself between people and feeling not only a comforting physical closeness but emotional as well. Because the warmth - on a literal and figurative sense - is enough to remind this cold hearted, cynical individual that we really aren't alone.. So I guess I could say last night I actually did realize I was something like that green nasty monster and my heart managed to swell from that infinitesimal size to something remotely human. Thank you.

I used to blog this length every day at one point.. but on a final note, which exists in stark contrast to this entire post: Death - White Lies is an awesome song in case you weren't aware. Album suggestionnnn: http://www.mediafire.com/?yhme1mdzymz

Soo.. Merry Christmas Eve
Happy Holidays
KRAZY KWANZAA
Hopefully Hanukkah kicked ass
& Something pertaining to Festivus..

You're great.