This guy on chatroulette just told me he wanted to light me on a fire.. so now I'm on blogger.

I really like watching people on facebook handle the whole college situation. One of either two things happens though. Option numero uno: the person becomes acclimated to college in a day and is already immersed within the whole college experience- lovin life, making friends and shyt. While on the other hand, there's option number deux which terrifies me. The people falling under this category are clearly feeling isolated, spend all their time on facebook updating statuses in search of sympathy/friendship and worst of all they're longing to come back home and Wachusett. I can't even comprehend that. In my head college is this great ~magical~ escape and to find that some people can't figure it all out makes me worried.

I feel like I have more to say but I can't think of anything. And by that I mean I just can't think of anything original enough worth saying.

Time rolls on.

Something about being back at Wachusett just makes me so sad.

School is still 22 days away and already feel like I've grown out of Wachusett. Woo-hoo.

Let's play a game, blog. It's called Castaway. You can play the role of Wilson and I'll play the role I was born to play: Tom Hanks.

Except.. I don't want to loose you in the water like in the movie, because that would mean all the potential things I always intend to post on here but never do would be totally gone, and I couldn't deal with my only intentions of honest whining disappearing forever. Shit, I'm in a terribly bitter mood. Did I do something wrong?

Wahtevaaaa. I don't care, I don't care about dat shyt cause I'm mad tough, yo'. Plus who needs people when I have you, Wilson.

You know what my favorite word is? It's fuck. How rebellious of me, amiright? No but seriously- I love it. I feel like whenever you use that word there's always so much passion in it, you know? Like.. the word is alive or something. You never passively use a fuck, it's a word you intentionally put down to make a point - even if that point is something like how casual you can be in dropping an f-bomb like no othaa. But anyway, I like it. There's so much fear, so much aggression, so much.. energy. and no other word is like it. I mean seriously, I can't think of a single word that has so much to it.. although I wish there were others like it.. or at least I kind of just want to make one up with someone.. Argh. You're a shitty conversationalist Wilson.

Music sounds its best in a car. In my van the bass is set on as high as it gets, and there's something undeniably incredible about driving through a dark oblivion and listening to incredibly loud, heart thumping, its-like-youre-at-a-concert-esque music. I started a playlist today called aggressive driving and I'm actually going to make this one into a CD. Not like those other CDs I make for hypothetical people, then listen to waaaay too much until I get to the point where I hate the music and no one else ever knows the CD existed. But seriously, this will be a CD to get pulled over to, it'll be sahweet.

Oh. You know what's weird, Wilson? Emotions. Hahah. Except seriously. I was thinking about the way I try to have myself be perceived emotionally and I realized above all I try to make people pity me.. and I don't really know why. Is that just a teenage thing? My self-psycho-analysis basically leads me to conclude that it's kind of an attention issue. If you're pitied there's this level of personal sympathy and a.. connection, I guess? And it's a connection of only the lightest, purest intentions - and maybe I'm just drawn to that? I don't know, I'm irritated with myself right now.

Idk what the fuck this is supposed to be.

Oh hey. It's one in the a-m and I was just laying in bed thinking about which color I think is the safest when I decided to get up and blog about it since I haven't been on this in a while and.. yeah. I'm basically detailing an entire thought process here..

So basically I'm pretty sure the safest color is orange. But I mean, first of all, I'd like to express how bad I feel for the color. Half the time it's not even treated like a legitimate part of the rainbow. Let's be serious - if a person says their favorite color is orange you can't help but judge. I, personally, get that way about people who says their favorite color is red too. The entire thought process goes: "Hold up. SIT THE FUCK DOWN. That color is hella obnoxious, you clearly are seeking attention for how you've managed to separate yourself from every other person out there who says blue is their fave, OR you are straight up crazy." You know what even adds to that? The fact that color like-age kind of comes from object association. So a person likes blue - that must be from some attachment to the sky or water or some shyt. Cool. Respectable. If your favorite is green- you're clearly very in touch with nature, damn - good for you. OH SHI- you like grey? Muthafucka you like stormy skies and the foggy oblivion? Brah, you mad deep yo'. If yellows your thing, sunshine and lemonade and all that sort of summery goodness it is. But when someone says they like orange its like, oh sweet.. oranges and traffic cones, yeah.. love them.

BUT ANYWAY. YOU MIGHT STILL BE WONDERING: WHY IS ORANGE THE SAFEST COLOR? Well, I'm glad you asked. Of all the artificial flavors orange will never, NEVER let you down. With all the other colors and fake flavors made to mimic real flavors but still setting an artificial flavor standard that all other attempts at imitating the original substance tend to follow, there's this margin of error where shit gets nasty. Once you start leaking into the banana and blue raspberry, the strawberry chunks and the true grape everything holds the possibility of tasting like shit. HOWEVER regardless of what you're eating, be it a popsicle, a drink, a candy.. basically anything that comes in flavors, you know you can always trust orange.

Yet flavor isn't the only thing about the color though that makes it so perf. Whenever I'm driving and I notice those orange speed limit signs I go "LOL. OKAY. THANKS FAKE SIGN." Seriously, there's no point for their entire existence. They are a suggested speed, and if I'm not going to get pulled over for breaking them than I obvi don't care. But the fact that they're there means a lot to me. It means that someone was legitimately looking out for the pussy driver out there: frightened by a shocking turn or left dazed by the complexities of the road, and that someone said "here's an excuse! use me as a crutch!" So sweet. So comforting. Thank you friendly road-sign man (or woman).

Lastly, the security of orange lies in childhood association for me personally. Let's all take a journey back to the fall of third grade for a moment for the U-10 soccer season. Now that shit was serious. You were playing 8 vs. 8 and all of a sudden your best friends were your worst enemies, and there would be that rotation of goalies throughout the team in which your three foot self would stand cowering in the net that was easily twice your size. You would run your ass off during those "ten minute" quarters, which we all actually knew were more like 90 minutes, since hey- this was town soccer: this was seriously professional shit. But anyway, one of the most easily/fondly recalled emotions of that era was the point during halftime when someone would bring out the oranges. Instant relief would just encompass your dehydrated/dying self and it would be like a gatorade commercial up on the sidelines as you were basically sweating all the colors of the rainbow, while enjoying the sweet, invigorating bliss those oranges provided. And it was because of those oranges that you could basically take the world; suddenly ten more minutes of mostly standing around and occasionally actually running seemed bearable, because now you could do anything- you were the goddamn batman.

.. and I think that's it. I literally have no more thoughts on the color - other than it's interesting that the Publish Post button on here is orange. If you find security in another color, feel free to share it ~*~*here~*~*~

I love books that make me cry. Especially in considering that something so.. not tangible can prove so beautiful that all you want to do is weep about it because you know you won't be able to appreciate it or see it the same way ever again.

eyedeekay..

I just watched Heathers for the first time and I can't think of a single movie I've said "what the fuck?" more often to.

This heat wave has been interesting.. I wonder if people act in accordance to the weather subconsciously or, rather, in full regard of its figurative implications. On a related note: I can't tell if I miss winter - I think a lot less when I'm cold.