So basically I'm pretty sure the safest color is orange. But I mean, first of all, I'd like to express how bad I feel for the color. Half the time it's not even treated like a legitimate part of the rainbow. Let's be serious - if a person says their favorite color is orange you can't help but judge. I, personally, get that way about people who says their favorite color is red too. The entire thought process goes: "Hold up. SIT THE FUCK DOWN. That color is hella obnoxious, you clearly are seeking attention for how you've managed to separate yourself from every other person out there who says blue is their fave, OR you are straight up crazy." You know what even adds to that? The fact that color like-age kind of comes from object association. So a person likes blue - that must be from some attachment to the sky or water or some shyt. Cool. Respectable. If your favorite is green- you're clearly very in touch with nature, damn - good for you. OH SHI- you like grey? Muthafucka you like stormy skies and the foggy oblivion? Brah, you mad deep yo'. If yellows your thing, sunshine and lemonade and all that sort of summery goodness it is. But when someone says they like orange its like, oh sweet.. oranges and traffic cones, yeah.. love them.
BUT ANYWAY. YOU MIGHT STILL BE WONDERING: WHY IS ORANGE THE SAFEST COLOR? Well, I'm glad you asked. Of all the artificial flavors orange will never, NEVER let you down. With all the other colors and fake flavors made to mimic real flavors but still setting an artificial flavor standard that all other attempts at imitating the original substance tend to follow, there's this margin of error where shit gets nasty. Once you start leaking into the banana and blue raspberry, the strawberry chunks and the true grape everything holds the possibility of tasting like shit. HOWEVER regardless of what you're eating, be it a popsicle, a drink, a candy.. basically anything that comes in flavors, you know you can always trust orange.
Yet flavor isn't the only thing about the color though that makes it so perf. Whenever I'm driving and I notice those orange speed limit signs I go "LOL. OKAY. THANKS FAKE SIGN." Seriously, there's no point for their entire existence. They are a suggested speed, and if I'm not going to get pulled over for breaking them than I obvi don't care. But the fact that they're there means a lot to me. It means that someone was legitimately looking out for the pussy driver out there: frightened by a shocking turn or left dazed by the complexities of the road, and that someone said "here's an excuse! use me as a crutch!" So sweet. So comforting. Thank you friendly road-sign man (or woman).
Lastly, the security of orange lies in childhood association for me personally. Let's all take a journey back to the fall of third grade for a moment for the U-10 soccer season. Now that shit was serious. You were playing 8 vs. 8 and all of a sudden your best friends were your worst enemies, and there would be that rotation of goalies throughout the team in which your three foot self would stand cowering in the net that was easily twice your size. You would run your ass off during those "ten minute" quarters, which we all actually knew were more like 90 minutes, since hey- this was town soccer: this was seriously professional shit. But anyway, one of the most easily/fondly recalled emotions of that era was the point during halftime when someone would bring out the oranges. Instant relief would just encompass your dehydrated/dying self and it would be like a gatorade commercial up on the sidelines as you were basically sweating all the colors of the rainbow, while enjoying the sweet, invigorating bliss those oranges provided. And it was because of those oranges that you could basically take the world; suddenly ten more minutes of mostly standing around and occasionally actually running seemed bearable, because now you could do anything- you were the goddamn batman.
.. and I think that's it. I literally have no more thoughts on the color - other than it's interesting that the Publish Post button on here is orange. If you find security in another color, feel free to share it ~*~*here~*~*~
